| how can I cry so much for someone I've never met? |
[Apr. 8th, 2009|09:09 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crushed | ] |
http://remembermaddie.com/
I've been following her blog for the last year - so Maddie was fine, great, happy - she made it! Former preemie - when you go home life is good, right?
She developed a cough on the weekend, but I didn't think much about it. She's been in the hospital before. Then the Twitter tweets from her mother got a bit more frantic, up until she was intubated and then nothing. The next time there was an update, she was gone. I can't believe it - gone. She was almost a year and a half years old. She CAN'T die. It's not right.
Death of a child is the fear of any parent. We have all sat there alone with out thoughts, wondering what life would be like without them. The boil down point for me was that at the end of the day, I do not want to live in a world where Nicola doesn't exist. I don't want. I also can't imagine unraveling a child from your life. Nicola inhabits 90% of the house - you can't take her out of the house without clearing the rest of it. She's everywhere.
I'm rambling. Maybe it's the lack of sleep. All night I went between dreaming of Maddie and waking up and not getting back to sleep. Imagine what life is like for someone that actually MET her. I am pathetic. |
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| My house smells good |
[Dec. 14th, 2008|09:35 pm] |
Bought the christmakkuh tree - it's fab. 7' noble fir and the entire house reflects the quality of this thing that gave it's life for my 3 week enjoyment. Decorations to come.
A Christmas Carol was good - not as fantastic as last year, but good. Dinner was fantastic (pat myself on the back for choosing) as was our amazing hotel Hotel Sorrento (again with the pats on the back). Chris and I slept in, then slept some more and didn't get out of bed until 10:20AM - I don't think that's happened since Nicola was born.
Onto xmas - another food holiday that makes me all warm and crazy inside. My in laws will be serving a roast beef of some sort, so I will bring- asiago gratin potatoes with bacon
- creamy pearl onions
- peas with parmesan
- yeast rolls
- mocha pie
I'll do my own roast beef tenderloin some days later with goat cheese and roasted garlic mashed potatoes and some roasted asparagus. Desert christmas night will be hot chocolate cakes, after my typical appetizer party.
I eat too much.
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| A Christmas Carol |
[Dec. 12th, 2008|10:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cold | ] |
There's no story I love more than "A Christmas Carol" - I love all the versions. The tried and true, the bizarre "A Diva's Christmas Carol" starring Vanessa Williams and "A Muppet Christmas Carol" come to mind. I love it when sitcoms cover it, I love it when dramas try it. It's all good.
Tomorrow we're going to see the ACT production of it in Seattle, which will be our second year. It's a theatre in the round, which is a bit different, but interesting. We used to see it at Ford's Theatre in DC when we were living in VA.
And oddly - it almost always snows the day we see it. Tomorrow looks no different. I love the pageantry of it all. I love staying in a hotel (even though we live in the city limits) I love going out to dinner beforehand and drinks after. It wouldn't be Christmas without it.
God bless us, everyone. Or whatever that annoying kid says. ;-) |
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| T minus 2 - notes - disaster update! |
[Nov. 25th, 2008|09:50 pm] |
Tuesday:
buy cornbread muffins
prepare & chill pie crust dough
Wednesday:
have oven stop working
make apple pie in convection oven & burn it
buy vanilla ice cream
make cranberry-orange sauce
make cream biscuits (flat from oven dying partway through - but still tasty)
prep all vegetables for Thursday
get sick
Thursday:
make cranberry-orange scones
make cornbread-carmelized onion dressing
make bacon-biscuit dressing
make mom's potatoes (ahead of schedule!)
make alton's green bean casserole
make gravy
eat. be happy. be thankful.
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| When it rains |
[Nov. 24th, 2008|09:05 pm] |
Bad day on Friday - left work early, got in the car and backed out. I was in a space I didn't usually park next to. One with a concrete pillar. I didn't really pay attention. You can guess what happened next.
I guess this Thanksgiving I'm thankful for GEICO. |
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| Boring Food Stuffs |
[Nov. 22nd, 2008|07:06 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hungry | ] |
Thanksgiving is like my Superbowl. I cook all day, despite the fact that dinner is actually somewhere else. This year shall be no different. On the menu currently:
Cornbread dressing with carmelized onions
smoky bacon biscuit dressing
mom's potatoes (riced potatoes with green onions, cheese & sour cream)
cranberry-orange sauces
alton brown's green bean casserole (never liked it before this)
homemade apple pie
gravy (which I'll do at the in laws, as for some reason they don't)
I considered making popovers, but I think that's pushing it a bit far.
I can't wait! |
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| I don't understand LJ drama |
[Nov. 22nd, 2008|10:44 am] |
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I don't get booting people from journals suddenly. I am probably the least controversial person around. Truly boring, but maybe I give off nefarious vibes. |
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| I love the smell of burning hair in the morning |
[Mar. 14th, 2008|12:29 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  nostalgic | ] |
Most of my life I have been cursed by curly, frizzy hair. I had wavy hair as a child, but manageable. And then came *insert ominous music* puberty. Eeeeek! My hair went nuts and has never recovered. When I was younger (God how I hate starting a thought that way), and foolish, I straightened my hair the only way I knew how. I used flat plates in my crimping iron (oh hush) on high, after dousing my hair with a generous amount of aqua net (pink can for the win!). Then would come the crackling. Yes, my hair sounded like bacon in a frying pan. I’m pretty sure I melted some of it off during this process. I’m pretty sure it didn’t even look that good when it was done (see: foolish), but it was how I rolled.
Now that I am older, wiser, and there are better tools at my disposal, I don’t need to melt my hair to achieve my looks. I use technology to my advantage. I hate using a roller brush (weak arms? Bad coordination?) so I buy a brush with a hair dryer built in. Magic! But this morning as I came back into the bathroom after getting dressed, I noticed the distinct aroma of burning hair. And it made me a little nostalgic. |
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| Fashion Police |
[Aug. 23rd, 2007|09:33 am] |
Just ran into a woman here at work that matched her socks to her shirt.
Her GREEN socks to her GREEN shirt.
Her LIME green socks to her LIME green shirt.
Her lime green socks in her Birkenstocks.
...
There are some things that just aren’t necessary.
Coming up tomorrow – assuming anything you stick on those rubber monstrosities they call Crocs can be called an accessory |
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| Old Sprout |
[Aug. 20th, 2007|12:51 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | hungry | ] |
I don't know how Safeway gets away with calling these baby carrots. These things have clearly been around the block once or twice. |
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| Sometimes the Funny is too Much |
[Aug. 17th, 2007|11:33 am] |
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Listening to Jane Child’s “Don’t Wanna Fall in Love” Lordy – who the hell decided this was a good idea? The only thing better than the song is the video. Jane Child FTW! |
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| Lord help me |
[Aug. 7th, 2007|12:42 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  distressed | ] |
I'm addicted to Subway sandwiches. I CRAVE them. I bring my lunch and then begin plotting to overthrow it with my 6 inches of wheaty deliciousness. Jared, what have you done to me? |
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| Is that you, God? |
[Jul. 5th, 2007|09:31 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hopeful | ] |
I've written about my oldest cat, Thor, the thorn in my side for the last 13 years. The cat that made me question felines as a species. He's old - and he's always had a habit of throwing up every few months - but for the last few weeks it's 3 or 4 times a week, and a LOT of it. On the very few carpeted surfaces we have. Enough - I said. I don't want him to suffer, we'll take him to the vet (and brave the claws that would turn our flesh to ribbons as we tried to force him into his carrier).
So we take him to Tyra's vet, and he's there and growling and hissing as the vet tries to examine him and she says "Oh boy, I hear (insert name of some disease that starts with B) and I think that I've missed some vaccination. So she's talking about it some more and I joke "is that what turned him into such a mean bastard?" and she says "Well, yes. Likely from when he was a kitten." We're dumfounded. "There's a cure?" I dare to dream. "Oh, yes, he'll be a brand new cat after treatment" Brand new? Nice? "Yes."
I almost believe in prayer after this encounter.
Now to wait for the test results ... |
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| dinner tonight |
[Jun. 21st, 2007|07:45 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | hungry | ] |
| [ | music |
| | rumbly in my tumbly | ] |
roasted pork tenderloin with fresh thyme & rosemary (from my garden) dijon mustard & honey
rice pilaf with garlic, shallots & parmesan
steamed green beans
when all fails - cook! |
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| NPR Solidifies My Love |
[Apr. 26th, 2007|08:41 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  uncomfortable | ] |
On Morning Edition this morning they announced birthdays, and the only one mentioned was Roger Taylor who turns 47. I didn't know whether to squeal like a 15 year old or choke at the age. Because if he's 47, I'm ... |
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| I *heart* football playoffs |
[Jan. 14th, 2007|09:51 am] |
The Seahawks playoff game starts in 10 minutes! I can't wait! No lines in the stores! No traffic on the freeway! Wheeeeeeeeee! Heading out to Costco where the only other shoppers will likely be glued to the 9053 inch HDTVs.
I can't wait to find a Wii in stock anymore. I think I'll just pick up a DS Lite to quell my insane video game urges. |
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| Is Vagina a Bad Word? |
[Dec. 27th, 2006|10:05 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  embarrassed | ] |
My daughter is nearly 3 now (and it gives me the sweats just to admit she's over 2 1/2). She's recently crossed the line into those-children-that-are-potty-trained (aka Utopia) and ran into some issues. Her body hurts. That's right. I haven't equipped the child with a word for her vagina better than "body" and now I'm terrified that she's going to develop a UTI or bladder infection and won't have the vocabulary to tell me. Raised Catholic much? Oy.
I remember mocking, with much vigor, my friend who has a daughter a year older than my own. When she asked "Mommy, what is this?" her mother replied "your Hoo-hoo". Yes, ladies & gents, her hoo-hoo. But is calling it a "hoo-hoo" any worse than not referring to it at all??? What did my own parents choose? I have a feeling it was nothing, but that makes me face that I'm as puritanical as they were. How is it that possible? |
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